The Delusionist

I can sometimes be a snob. In fact, I can sometimes be a snob of snobs. And I’m a weird snob, at that. I’m not a snob in that I only listen to classical music and go to the opera. I’m not even really a snob who only listens to the latest indie bands and sees the artsiest movies. In fact those people can kind of annoy me. I snub them because they are snobs.

I’m actually some weird in-between. I listen to music you have never heard of but not necessarily because it’s cool, in fact some of it is decidedly uncool. One of my favorite books can’t have sold many copies, and the movies I watch repeatedly were neither great blockbusters nor widely received by critics. 

For the most part I don’t expect people to like what I like (except for my wife, Charity, who has eerily similar taste except when it comes to books). Still I judge people for not seeing genius where I see it. I don’t understand how they don’t get it.

Occasionally I’ll meet someone who shares my love for a particular band, movie, or book. I get ridiculously excited and I want to talk about it. One big question I want to ask is “why?” What is it about this particular work that you love? To me why you like something is almost as important as what you like. Yeah, I’m that pretentious. 

And it always bothers me when people don’t like things for the same reason I do. If they give a reason that I consider “mainstream” or “shallow” I judge them almost as much as I judge Miley Cyrus/Transformers/James Patterson fans. There are many bands that I love but can’t stand their fans. It’s sad I know.

In my last post I talked about how it bothered me when Christians use exclusive terms. Terms that have meanings exclusively to them. It makes me feel isolated and disconnected. And all of those things are true. I wish Christians would talk more like the real world because I wish Christians would be more real. I wish they would get out of their little circles and get to know the people around them rather than theorize about ways to evangelize them.

But I began to realize that there was something else behind the rant. I was judging the way other Christians express their faith because it is so different from the way I express (or often don’t express) mine. I have reasons it bothers me but a lot of it is simply the fact that I can’t relate to it. 

I need to leave some room for grace and personal expression and individualization. It bugs the hell out of me when the “snobs” do that to me. When classical musicians think Led Zeppelin doesn’t match up to Beethoven or Neutral Milk Hotel fans can’t understand that Adele makes some heartbreakingly beautiful music. It annoys me when atheists write me off as a Christian or fundamentalists write me off as a liberal. 

So maybe I should quit writing off atheists and fundies. The worship artists who construct songs out of three chords and four phrases. The hand-raisers in church and the people who are really moved by a sermon. If the Kingdom of Heaven has room for a few cussing, drinking, bearded cynics like me, it surely has room for them. I’m much more than those adjectives, just as they are. 

So here’s to breaking down barriers and learning each other’s languages. Hearing the reasons we use the words we use. Sharing our passions and understanding why they exist. It may even mean admitting a worship song or two isn’t that bad or that a stupid sermon joke was kind of funny. Maybe I’ll even come across a Taylor Swift lyric that is decent. But I reserve the right to hate on Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. A guy has to have his standards.